Have you been reading about the alarming statistics about teenage girls and STD’s these days? Premarital sex has poisoned 25% of them. If the consequences of behavior could ever be made more obvious than this I can’t imagine what it would be. So much for safe sex and secular sex education in America. It’s killing us. And what immature teens do you know of who actually think about safety once they get hot and bothered?
If the rate of infection is 25% now where is it headed in the future when they pass their germs and viruses on to others in succeeding years? What about the up and coming generations of children and pre-teens? It’s a timely report because I just recently picked up a book addressing the appropriate way to talk about sex to your youngsters. It’s called What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex , written by Stan and Brenna Jones and it addresses the Christian approach to the subject. If more parents had been reading series like his with their kids back in 1995 when it was published maybe the situation wouldn’t be so dire thirteen years later.
The “God’s Design for Sex” series a complete collection of books written appropriately for each age range of kid as you are grooming them on the subject. This one in particular is the 3rd edition for 8-11 year olds. This paragraph from the review section of the Amazon order page outlines it succinctly.
“You know what sex is. You’ve heard other kids joking about it, and maybe you’ve seen actors talking about it on TV. But you probably still have some questions, and that’s great-because What’s the Big Deal? was written to help kids like you, ages 8-11, find the answers you need. What’s the Big Deal? explains the basic facts about sex and such related issues as: 1) Why God made adults so that they want to have sex; 2) Why God designed sex to be shared only within marriage; 3) What God actually says about sex in the Bible; 4) The amazing changes ahead of you during puberty; and 5) How to respond when you feel sexual pressure from peers, TV shows, movies, and magazines. Your parents will read this book with you or discuss it with you as you read it on your own. They’ll answer any leftover questions you might have and help you understand what a beautiful and exciting gift from God your sexuality is meant to be.”
You can see that the book covers all the key points in the sex discussion but there were a few sections that impressed me in particular.
Page 19 of chapter 1 has the parents telling their imaginary son how a man and woman who never have sex with anyone except each other have practically no chance of being harmed by sexual diseases that are becoming more common by the day. The mother emphasizes how the world gives casual sex way too much importance which elevates it to idolatrous levels.
In the chapter, “Why Can’t I Do That?” the dad explains how God made men and women different on purpose.It was to help them share their bodies to bring them closer to each other in order to reinforce their love to each other. It’s a gift from God specifically for that purpose.
The son asks the condom/safe sex question in the “What is AIDS chapter” based on conversations with friends. Mom points out the fallacies of “safe sex” with the facts that people still get sexually transmitted diseases and become pregnant when condoms tear or are otherwise misused.
In the “What Does Gay Mean?” chapter the dad tells the daughter that God meant for men and women to fall in love particularly to have children. Men can’t do that with each other and women can’t do that with each other. The hard questions are why do homosexuals feel that way? and why do they act that way? The dad also correctly says that homosexuality and the homosexual lifestyle is a sin to be dealt with and that we aren’t to hate or condemn gays any more than anyone else because God’s love extends to everyone.
Chapter 9 is “God’s Response to Wrong” and deals with consequences of our choices. Man I wish parents would continue teaching this into puberty and not just leave it to early childhood. Leaving sex for marriage is at it’s simplest, a matter of Godly obedience. Using it outside of that context is wrong and even though God will always continue to love and forgive us he won’t make the bad things disappear and heal the diseases when we do it our way.
This chapter also deals with the ongoing, lifelong issues directly connected with youthful indiscretions including the practical and psychological consequences of abortion, teens marrying because of pregancy and typically having very unsuccessful marriages, and the young father and mother potentially dropping out of school to help care for the child.
The 11th chapter deals with “Sexual Abuse” and here the imaginary parents talk to the children about protecting themselves from inappropriate touching. Teach your kids to say no and to tell someone that they are going to tell their parents if they don’t stop. It addresses not falling for threats and lies that abusers like to tell to have their way.
You should really check into Stan and Breanna Jones’ complete collection of books for kids on the subject of sex. They are written in age appropriate style to fit the level of maturity for your children. I plan on having the entire collection and I recommend you do the same.
